Miserable Monday

• Learning how to make out from an article in a teen magazine
• Not being sure whether a title should be in quotes or italics
• Feeling embarrassed for people who lack a sense of shame
• First jobs
• Your mother marrying one of your high school classmates
• Men who think that all female athletes are lesbians
• Advertisements that coin words like "fabulosity"
• Financial advisors who need advice
• Financial advisors who don't follow their own advice
• Learning the moon is not made of cheese
• Attempts to help that just make things worse
• Toilet paper that sticks to your shoe
• Trying to call your in-laws by their first names for the first time
• Fuzzy toilet seat covers
• Eighteen-year-olds that still go trick-or-treating
• Grandfather clocks that always chime the wrong time