Miserable Monday

• Not being sure whose foot you're touching under the table
• Baboon attacks
• Dusty closets
• Flesh-eating plants
• Double-Edged Swords
• Sharing a bathroom with people who never clean it
• Spending more hours a week with your coworkers instead of your spouse
• Wolves in sheep's clothing
• Partitioned kingdoms
• Running into your teacher while either or both of you are drunk
• Hopes crushed with a single word
• Being asked what took you so long in the bathroom
• The smell of other people's popcorn
• Parents who consider their children a source of unpaid labor
• Relationships that begin in closets and end in court
• Movies referred to as "the comedy event of the season"
• Sporks
• Computers from the '80s
• Teachers who try to be friends with their students