Miserable Monday

• Smirks
• Getting caught charging personal items to the corporate expense account
• Hair that doesn't respond to combing
• Expensive medical tests that show nothing
• Diamonds that aren't forever
• Not daring to say what you think
• Kathie Lee Gifford
• Having your parents drive you to prom
• Hematomas
• People who skim books and then discuss them
• Not realizing when someone's talking to you
• Whiplash from bumper cars
• Not knowing when to quit
• Invented statistics in advertisements
• Arguments that last decades
  
• Wanting to be someone else
• Major life decisions based on the needs of pets
• Forgetting dessert